I started this Self-Love journey, out of necessity. After being in a caregiver role for two decades, I had to figure out who I was without the role of, daughter, wife, mother, sister, friend, colleague etc. Who was I? It’s been a lot of inner work. I have always been the person to put others before myself and it really had to stop. I had to Learn to be selfish, self-centered, introspective and really focus on me. Believe me, it wasn’t easy, it was extremely uncomfortable, but necessary.
I wrote a blog about making sure your oxygen mask was on first, before assisting others, yet not heeding my own advice. I saw my many projects, being ignored, out of helping others. I was always available for people who needed to talk, and actually helped others when I had so much to do myself. Very rarely, were those same people around when I needed help.
The reciprocity just wasn’t there. I had to make a change, and as always, the change has to come from you. I am fortunate, and grateful, that my advice is sought after through my practice and I love the fact that I can help my clients, whether it be regarding relationships, career advice, dealing with dementia, anxiety, depression or just being a life coach.
As they always say, happiness is an inside job, and I stopped looking for fulfillment in being available for everyone, when they needed me. I took a break from social media, and I stayed still. I learned a lot about myself. I was able to really prioritize projects that I was working on, the ones that I let go due to helping others. I had meaningful conversations with my son, and we became closer (if that was possible). And I learned to detach.
People believe that detachment is not caring, because it sounds like that. It isn’t. It is not becoming attached to material things and people, it is basically the same as acceptance. Having no expectations and therefore, becoming completely happy and accepting people as they are, therefore never being disappointed.
It’s not easy by any means, and it takes work, but I believe it is necessary to truly be at peace.
Self-love, where the operative word is self, is exactly that. It is loving yourself the most and being completely happy with yourself, that you are not looking to get that happiness in another person, or material thing, or when you reach a certain financial status.
Self-love is inner work, and not many people want to do it, although it is the best work you will ever do.
As we all are aging, we accumulate knowledge, love, strength and everything becomes clearer. I embrace getting older. We get a chance to press the reset button, and really become who we wanted to be “when we grew up”.
I don’t wish to be younger, and although I didn’t have an easy ride, I wouldn’t change a thing. I regret nothing. Every moment brought me to where I am now, I am better for it. I gained so much knowledge, and now I get to fine tune it, like a piano.
I want to share this journey with all of you, I want to tell everyone, do not fear time. The best is yet to come. Every day, and every year, we can focus on what we gain. Nothing is lost, you don’t lose your beauty, it is just a perception.
Our perception of beauty must change. Grey hair, thinning hair, body changes are all beautiful. They are all gifts; this is how I plan to live my life. We just have to make little adjustments in our perception, and then we can have a new level of thinking.
I don’t want to look like anyone, but me. I am my own competition, my own reflection. I want to be the best me, better than yesterday- that’s all I have to do!
Comparing and Contrasting are for academic assignments or for work, not for you!
Beauty has no timeline.
Here are some of the lessons in life…..
1. Be still and really listen. Your gut and voice already know.
2. Be aware of discomfort. When things are right they are effortless.
3. Time is the one thing you can not buy.
4. It’s never too late and it’s never too early.
Journal 1 of Self love